I know. We who refuse to be held captive by this maniacal holiday run the risk of incurring womankind's eternal wrath. I'm sticking to my guns, thus far anyway.
What a fucked up holiday this is. Women are forced to endure year after year of idiotic, thoughtless presents. Men are forced to wander aimlessly through the lingerie department of their local department stores, trying desperately to not look like a moron or a pervert. If you buy your lady the traditional box of chocolates she will look at you with disdain and say it will cause her to get fat. If you do not cough up the said box of sweets you are accused of thinking she is already fat.
And, lord forbid, that you might actually be single on that awful day. What are you going to do? Hope that some equally forlorn creature takes pity on you and slides over a "friendship" Valentine card? And speaking of the "friendship" variety of card, what does that say exactly? I really like you. Thanks for not having sex with me. Yah, with the population of the planet being what it is, we would all have to send out about a billion of those. Sorry, its not in the budget this year.
