Drunken Sots

Is ther any other type of sot, really? I mean, have you ever known a sober sot? huh? Yah, I figured as much. So tonight was the annual graduation dinner for my business class. I am currently in the 8th year of a three year course. I am just that dedicated, or stoopid, whichever. This year I graciously invited (read drug their asses) my chief ecxeutive assistant/secretary/personal assistant/office manager Rachel, her funny-ass large breasted sister Heather (who I think I used to sleep with), and two of my three pseudo step-daughters to join the festivitieas.

It was quite fun watching the two younger ladies getting saused on virgin margaritas and daquiries. It was even more fun getting Heather and Rachel fucked up on the real thiung. I'm pretty sure its the only time I have ever rode in the backseat of my own vehicle. I found out I have tinted windows, a removeable rear windshield, and lots of leg room in that truck. Who woulda guessed that. I also determined that Stoli's Vanil vodka is the rockinest shit in the world, man. I have also determined something about myself. I like females.

Now I know that all the hetero guys in the world are SUPPOSED to like femalwes, but i mean I REALLY dig the feminine sex. I sat there at this semi-sorta-fun dinner and it turned into a total blast. I got to hear gossip, innuendo, dirty dirty sex talk, flirting, bitching,belching, laughing, and feighned insults to my (and everyone else's) masculinity. I got the chance to play host, date, daddy, lover, boyfroend, boss, and sugar-daddy to a group of beautiful women. I think my ego just got an erection and shot watermelon all over the first three rows of the audience, like Gallagher.

So here is my late-night, drunken tribute to all of the wonderful feamales in my life: In drunken-alphabetical order - Allanah, you are the sweetest, kindest, prettiest, most caring and loving girl a psedo-step-dad could ask for; Brenna, I am so proud of you. You put yourself out there every single day in any given situation and never show your fear, except to me, which makes me love you even more; Caroline, I've known you longer than anybody, and you've never changed. You are still that open, sensitive, 14 year old girl i met 27 years ago; Cindy, you are still an enigma to me, you have been since I developed that high school crush on you so many years ago. I still have that same crush on you now - oh mysterious one; Heather, that blend of free-spiritedness and responsibility is the biggest turn-on ever; Jacqueline, I've never fallen that fast, that hard, and that deep for anyone. I told you before that I've only bestowed the title of "the lovely" on four women in my lifetime. What I didnt say is that out of that select group, you are the one who receives the honor of "the loveliest", yes, even over Michelle; Mary, you cannot be contained. Thank you for showing me how to let go of life's responsibilities and stresses, and for loving me regardless of my current situation; Mirrila, I knew you and loved you before you were even born. I will always be there for you, till the end of your days; Rachel, you keep me sane. If it wasn't for you, I would have folded up my tent and wandered off into the desert to die more than two years ago. thanks for keeping me alive.

There are others, but these are the beautiful females who are in my life on a daily basis. I love you all.