I'm Back

Elvis sings Sweet Melissa

My body and mind hurt so badly lately. I can't have sex anymore, not with you, not with anyone. I love you too much to lose you over that so while i'll be completely faithful to you, I am willing to share you with other women so that you can satisfy your physical needs. Then we met sweet, young, Melissa...



We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby

Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die

When honey, you know
I've never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah

Jesus loves You!!!

Yep. That's what we all need - some more of that old-timey, down home religion.


Slideshow: Rival monks brawl at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher JERUSALEM – Israeli police rushed into one of Christianity's holiest churches Sunday and arrested two clergyman after an argument between monks erupted into a brawl next to the site of Jesus' tomb.

The clash between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks broke out in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, revered as the site of Jesus' crucifixion, burial and resurrection.

The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus.

The Greeks objected to the march without one of their monks present, fearing that otherwise, the procession would subvert their own claim to the Edicule — the ancient structure built on what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus — and give the Armenians a claim to the site.

The Armenians refused, and when they tried to march the Greek Orthodox monks blocked their way, sparking the brawl.

Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said police were forced to intervene after fighting was reported. They arrested two monks, one from each side, he said.

A bearded Armenian monk in a red-and-pink robe and a black-clad Greek Orthodox monk with a bloody gash on his forehead were both taken away in handcuffs after scuffling with dozens of riot police.

Six Christian sects divide control of the ancient church. They regularly fight over turf and influence, and Israeli police are occasionally forced to intervene.

"We were keeping resistance so that the procession could not pass through ... and establish a right that they don't have," said a young Greek Orthodox monk with a cut next to his left eye.

The monk, who gave his name as Serafim, said he sustained the wound when an Armenian punched him from behind and broke his glasses.

Father Pakrat of the Armenian Patriarchate said the Greek demand was "against the status quo arrangement and against the internal arrangement of the Holy Sepulcher." He said the Greeks attacked first.

Archbishop Aristarchos, the chief secretary of the Greek Orthodox patriarchate, denied his monks initiated the violence.

After the brawl, the church was crowded with Israeli riot police holding assault rifles, standing beside Golgotha, where Jesus is believed to have been crucified, and the long smooth stone marking the place where tradition holds his body was laid out.

The feud is only one of a bewildering array of rivalries among churchmen in the Holy Sepulcher.

The Israeli government has long wanted to build a fire exit in the church, which regularly fills with thousands of pilgrims and has only one main door, but the sects cannot agree where the exit will be built.

A ladder placed on a ledge over the entrance sometime in the 19th century has remained there ever since because of a dispute over who has the authority to take it down.

More recently, a spat between Ethiopian and Coptic Christians is delaying badly needed renovations to a rooftop monastery that engineers say could collapse.

Change is in the AIr

Watched the RNC until I puked (took all of about ten minutes) So the Repugs want us to elect them to Whitehouse so that they can fix the fuck ups of the corrupt government over the last eight years?

What?!?

Aren't THEY the corrupt government that screwed us in the first place? Man, you gotta give those fuckers credit for having 500lb brass balls at least.

Attack, ATTACK, ATTACK !!!

Thank god things are as shitty as they are. The Republican machine has gathered together such strength in its evil over the last several decades that the sheep who laughingly call themselves voters would be too comatose to see it otherwise.

The Libertarians are self-centered assholes so no one takes them seriously. The rest of the so called third party candidates are one or two issue candidates at most.

Democrats? Please. They are so stupid they actually believe not only in their own line of bullshit, but also in the basic goodness and smartitude of the ameriKan sheeople. Even with rising unemployment, an extremely unpopular war, inflation we haven't seen since the Ford administration, gas prices seeming like a bargain since they went DOWN to $3.88 per gallon, Obama can barely beat out that insiped fuck McCain.

Get a clue from the Karlrovians people. Attack, ATTACK, ATTACK !!!

McCain is old.
He is feeeble-minded
He is out of touch and an elitist boob
He was a POW - over thirty fucking years ago - since then he has fucked U.S. veterans
He is in the pocket of so many lobbyists that he has turned into a giant lint ball
He sucks big oil's cock so much that he shits raw crude
He is a robot and will have sex with our women
His birthday totals up to 666
He just had a stroke from using too much crystal meth


It doesn't matter what fucked up bullshit we make up about him. The ameriKan sheeople will believe it just enough to vote him down and put in the black man. Until they shoot 'im dead anyway.

FOR ME

And when they've given you their all
some stagger and fall
After all its not easy,
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall

Her Wishes

Cremated, not buried so no one has to bear the cost of a coffin

Music - Sara McLachlan - In The Arms of an Angel, Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven, Pink Floyd - Goodbye Cruel World

Pastor - Jason or Andy


Church - Mom's

Ashes - part to Chuck, part to mom. Small part given to her girls in two matching heart shaped pendants

Service - Christian. Let people stand at random from their seats to speak. Chuck gives eulogy

The Final Favor

It had been more than 10 days since she unceremoniously up and left me and my house. I wondered when I might hear from her. I knew she would ask for something outrageous. Maybe to borrow a thousand bucks so she could start dealing heroin? Maybe to be her first john in her new profession? I had no idea, really.

'I have something huge to ask of you'

Yep, here it comes, hold on buddy!

"What is it, my dear?'

'I'd like you to be in charge of my funeral arrangements. Please take that burden from my mom. She won't be able to deal with it. I know I can trust you to follow through with the job and you'll see to it my final wishes are fulfilled even though you'll be a fucking basket case when you lose me.'

'What music do you want?'

OMG I posted this two days after I met Beca the Hitchhiker

My Tarot
You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams.
You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness.
Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies.
Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part.

Your fortune:

You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one.
Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares.
Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses.
You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

As A Matter of Fact, There are 6 Reasons

1. I feel guilty that you have been risking your life, your freedom, and your reputation to be with me

2. I feel guilty that you sacrifice so much for me and have to completely support me financially.

3. I feel I am ruining your life. If I step aside it will open the gate to allow some other woman who truly deserves you to step in.

4. I am too emotionally unavailable to provide you with any support when YOU need it.

5. I feel torn in two because my best friend and my boyfriend can't stand each other.

6. This relationship is the closest I have been to anybody since Gary. (Father of her children who committed suicide in jail seven years ago)That makes me feel vulnerable and that scares the hell out of me.

Page 1, Paragraph 1 - very rough draft

I had no particular reason for making a right hand turn as I pulled off of old Highway 101. I just did. Could have just as easily turned left to head into Astoria. I just didn't. The simple task of depositing a check into the bank account was all there was to do that Monday. Seaside, in november, is as dead as small town America can get. The one hot, young, hitch-hiker bustling down the road was easy to spot even though bundled up against the wind...

Hi, thanks for stopping. do you think you can get me to the food stamp office by
5:00?

Lets see, its 25 miles away and we've got eleven minutes....lets try!

My name is Beca. so what's your story? You single, married, got a girlfriend?.........

Beca the Hitchhiker - First Drafts

The Break-Up Talk



I'm sorry. I can't meet your needs. I'm trying but I just can't. I'm incapable of it. And you deserve to have someone in your life who can meet all of your needs.



You know how people are, and you know the stereotype. When I'm gone people who are close to you are going to tell you that I have been using you all along. I want you to know that I've never used you. I have been with you because I wanted to be with you. Lately though, I feel like I am starting to use you. You don't deserve that, so I think that its best that I leave now before that happens.



The Break-Up Talk ( An Aside)

I hope you realize how much love and respect I'm showing you by doing this.

You're showing me love and respect by breaking up with me?

Yes. With every single other boyfriend I've ever had, I simply disappeared in the middle of the night. I can't help it, its my nature. I'm a runner.I can never face emotional turmoil. But out of love and respect for you, I had to stay around to tell you. You have been so good to me that I just couldn't do that to you.



The Beginning - Post Sex Talk



Look at me. I want us to look each other straight in the eye. You...are a wonderful man. You deserve everything. You have a good heart. You're kind, considerate, and loving. You're bright and funny, you have an awesome personality. You're good looking, and good in bed. I want to be sure that you know that!

On The Road (Finally, Again)

So man, I've been fully immeshed in living the heroin (not so) chic lifestyle. Or, well, living on the fringes of it. Jesus! I can never tell what is real, what is illusion, what is a little or a whole bunch of both. She is at the 29th day of a 30 day transitional program for indigent hospital room escapee's. So to speak.

Remember that god-awful rut I was in a couple of years back? Man, I kicked the fuckin' shit outta that. I feel like I've been a heroin junkie for years, and I've never even touched the shit. She has taken me on an endless rollercoaster ride of terror and delight. The blow jobs alone were worth the price of admission, and man there is so much more.

When I get through with this wonderfully insane, loving, ass-kicking, tender, take no prisoners, sexy, lying, cheating, incredibly sweet, smart, rippin' my soul out by the balls, woman - I am gonna have material to write about for years to come.

Heroin with an Aftermath chaser

With you there is no path of least resistance
Resistance has shattered your mirrored walls
One shuttered eye now a million eyes unblinking
Naked to the flaming Sun

Harvey Korman - Rest in Stitches

A Few Great lines

Well, I ain't here to show ya ma dick! (Sam Elliot - Roadhouse)

I guess the fortune teller's right. I should have seen just what was there, and not some holy light (Natalie Imbruglia - Torn)

...light my candles in a daze, cuz I found God (Kurt Cobain - Lithium)

Look into my eyes. Your soul is stained with the blood of innocents. Feel their pain! (Nicholas Cage - Ghost rider)

And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon god they made (Paul Simon - The Sound of Silence)

I have made my Decision - Obama

I have heard, and read, so many arguments between those who choose Hillary and those who choose Obama. Really, folks, it makes little difference. ALL politicians use the same exact rhetoric, and refuse to plainly and simply lay out the blueprints for their actual plans once elected. Voters simply read into it whatever they want to hear. Hell, W had a good sounding line of bullshit back in 2000. He was for "uniting", bringing "respectability back to the Oval Office", "fairness in taxation", "more jobs", "more affordable health care". Who could argue with that? Now we all know what we really got with the whole W package. It was all Orwellian double speak. As for Hillary and Obama, I'd like to (for once) see some nuts and bolts planning with real numbers added in for fun. It ain't gonna happen during campaigne time. Regardless, we will have someone in the Whitehouse who is far superior to that scrub we have had for nearly eight years. I vote Obama because he seems "fresh" and Hillary has so much baggage to lug around during the fall.

Ah Dammit Anyhow

So I read over at kona's blog that we are still destroying the planet, even if we drive vehicles that burn bio-fuels. dammit. I just found an EH-85 station five miles from home (versus the 45 miles to Longview or the 100 miles to Portland)

I might as well be driving a rig powered by whale blubber and dolphin fins. I'm such a putz.

Something Stupid - Just For You