Sometime in 1968 or ’69, I remember riding to town with my parents in their early 60’s hot metallic pink Buick Wildcat. I can still feel the cold of the immaculate white leather seat on my bare legs as the newscaster on AM radio station KVAS talked about the war. The peace talks between North and South Vietnam had broken down and President Nixon had stepped up the bombing of Hanoi.
The main sticking point in the negotiation process seemed to be about whose flag went up the flagpole first. My only thought was “My God. All they need to do is put up dual flagpoles and fly each flag at equal height. If a seven year old can figure that out and they can’t, this war is doomed to go on forever!”
It was at that exact moment that I saw my own fate. I was going to turn 18, get drafted into the army, be sent to Vietnam, and get shot and die. Period. I knew with absolute certainty that I would not see my 19th birthday.
I watched Walter Cronkite every weeknight at 6:00 and counted down the months I had left to live. Some time later, the announcement that the war was over had no effect on me. I had heard it all too many times before and had become a very jaded pre-teen.
It wasn’t until another car ride into town, at the same exact spot near the bottom of 7th street where my fate had been sealed, that something changed. John Lennon came on the radio this time. “And so this is Christmas… and what have we done…another year over, and a new one just begun…”
The overwhelming part of the song was actually performed by Yoko Ono and a choir of children. “War is over…War is over…War is over…” So far I’ve had the gift of more than eight thousand days beyond my 19th birthday.
If you have ever wondered why I am the way I am, or why I love Christmas so dearly, or why I sobbed the day John died.
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3 comments:
Special thanks to two people.
First cousin Ted, who when told I had been suffering from a full decade long writer's block said "I don't care what you write, just write any damn thing. It doesn't matter if its good or its shit, just write!The rest will come in time" This was the first piece I wrote after his advice.
Also to my dearest friend Jacqueline, who lead me through the maze of reconstructing my blog and who always provides me with soaring inspiration, full support in everything I do, and love.
You are very welcome! But I STILL don't think I did all that much.
And another thing, I think your life has been filled with so much. You've long surpassed living until the age of 19, and you have even further to go.
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